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Tponetom
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Username: Tponetom

Post Number: 358
Registered: 06-2007
Posted on Thursday, January 08, 2009 - 10:42 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Two Detroiters, Communicating. Tponetom.

The Phone Call

1937. Mike and I hooked up in the fourth grade in Nativity Grade School. Both of us
were nine years old, waiting for November to roll around and put us in the double digits. I was
ten days older than Mike. I called him the “kid.”

He moved to Tucson in 1976. Peggy and I came here in 1995. Mike and I are still joined
at the hip.

This past Christmas Season, was entertaining. Mike called to invite us to his home on Christmas Day. I told him Peggy was not feeling well and we had to pass.

He said, “Well, you will miss the entertainment. Our four sons will be with us”

I replied, “So I should become hilarious at the prospect of visiting with your four sons,
their wives, their 16 children, 12 grandchildren, and two great-grandchildren? I think not.”

Mike laughed. He said, “No, three of the boys will hold me down on the floor and John,
(his oldest boy) will tear the tape off of my chest, where hair has been growing for the last six
weeks or so!

Non-plussed and not too curious and with a deep sigh, I asked, “O. K., what the heck
happened this time?”

He laughed. He said, “No, no, this on the level. About six weeks ago, I was working in
the front yard, trimming some low hanging branches from the Olive Tree. I was using my small chain saw that I could use with one hand, so that when I had to reach for a branch, I could use my other hand to hang on to the ladder! Then, the next thing I knew, I was lying on the pavement with three broken ribs and a dislocated shoulder. I cannot recall why or how I fell!”

I mused for a moment or two. Then I said, “Well, in all probability, when you reached for that last branch, your ‘Center of Gravity’ was breached, and that ‘pile of guts’ you call a belly, responded to the call of gravity and you fell face down. If you had fallen on that plush ass of yours it would have cushioned your fall.”

I reminded him of one of the axioms of physics. That being, “Matter can neither be
created nor destroyed.”

He said, “So what does that have to do with me falling off the ladder?”

I replied, “You should remember that fifty or sixty years ago, when we were in our
physical prime, we both stood about 5' 10'’ and weighed 180 pounds. Today, I am down to 5'7'
and weigh 140 pounds. You are down to 5' 8' and you weigh 220! Do the Math! I lost 40 pounds and you gained 40 pounds The real difference is this. When I fall down, I bounce, like a handball. When you fall down, you,,,ahh,,
sort of, puddle!”

The Visit

The Sunday after New Year’s Day. Mike lives on the far northeast side of Tucson, near the
foothills, and I live on the far southeast side, near the desert, 17 miles apart. He called and said he would drop in for a visit. I knew it would be a good day. He showed up late in the morning.

He knocked on our back door. (A tradition that was bred into all of us during the
Thirties and Forties. NO ONE ever used the front door. The Living Room was sacrosanct.)

I answered the door and let him in. I called Peggy and she came and gave Mike a kiss on the
cheek, a hug and then excused herself to her sitting room, with her book, and the radio on.

(She had “been there, done that” too many times in the past. She could never understand the intricate variations of obscenities that men can spontaneously, spew out!

We sat down at the kitchen table. (See above re: Living Room.)

He was wearing a baseball cap with an embroidery that read, “MINE-SIGHT.”

I immediately spoke out, saying, “Never mind the prologue, just cut to the chase.”

He said, “Wait, wait, wait, I have to tell you the whole story!”

I shrugged and told him to go ahead and tell me the story.

On his way over here, he stopped at one of the ubiquitous “99 cent” stores. Absolutely
nothing costs more than 99 cents. He seen this grungy looking cap and bought it. He asked the
proprietor what the MINE_SIGHT thing referred to. The man explained that he had to buy one
or two accessories that would validate the value of the cap. ??????? The accessories were, ta da,
electric lights! The tubular light case itself was two inches long, about the size of a lipstick tube. It was mounted on a clip that looked like a ‘spring loaded, clothes line pin’ but it was made of metal. You compressed the front of the clip and the rear ‘jaws’ opened. Releasing the clip and the jaws closed. You could attach it to the brim of the cap. There was a push button, on and off, switch at the rear of the ‘flashlight.’
Now here is where the story gets moving. Each ‘flashlight’ thingomabob needed 3 disk batteries, like in a hearing aid, only smaller, like a flattened pea. (The kind you eat) But the thing was, you had to install them correctly. Like in positive + or negative -. Formation.
So, he dropped three of them in and nothing happened. He reinstalled them and nothing. Finally, I yelled, “for christ sakes look at the battery for a + or - sign!

He said, “My hearing aid is not working!”

I said, “Goddamit, what does a hearing aid have to do with it?”

He said, “I don’t know what you are saying!”

Well, we finally got both lights to illuminate, barely.

He said, “Hell, you can read a book in total darkness, like in a coal mine. (Hence, the
“MINE-SITE slogan on the cap.)

I said, “Give me the cap with the lights attached and I will go into my walk-in closet and
see if can read a book in there. “

He concurred
.
I walked into the closet. And I waited, and waited. Knowing his impatience, I said
nothing.
Finally, he opened the closet door and asked me what I was doing in there for so long.

I told him I hadn’t finished reading the book yet !

He bust a gut laughing and so did I.

And so, those are the ties that bind, tighter and tighter, after 70 odd (very odd) years.

P. S. When Mike moved to Tucson in 1976, he got a teaching job at the Sierra Vista High School.
He taught a Special Eds class for 20 years. He is a special species of man.
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Bigb23
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Username: Bigb23

Post Number: 3182
Registered: 11-2007
Posted on Thursday, January 08, 2009 - 11:10 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Another great story Tpone - I wish I had 1/8 of your writing skills and stories.
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Isle_of_fun
Member
Username: Isle_of_fun

Post Number: 158
Registered: 10-2008
Posted on Friday, January 09, 2009 - 10:01 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I agree with Bigb23, not only that I need to get out of this snow, how's the weather out there?
Got a spare free room?
You got me with the enter at the back door that was so much a part of my youth, or the standing outside their home and calling out your friends name almost in song and then asking the parents permission and this part



Mike ____________. He _______, “No, ________ of the boys will______ me

___________ on the _________ and John,

(his ___________ boy) will _______ the ______ off of my _________, where

____________ has been _________for the last ___________

_______________ or so!


for writing fun see let's see how some of DY writers would fill in the blanks.

thanks
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Kathinozarks
Member
Username: Kathinozarks

Post Number: 1828
Registered: 11-2006
Posted on Saturday, January 10, 2009 - 12:31 am:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Mike come here. He said, "no, one of the boys will meet me Saturday on the bus and John, (his paper boy) will knock the hat off of my head, where it has been sitting for the last half century or so!
-----------------

That's the best I could do. Kind of fun. Makes me remember Mad Libs from the 1970's.

Tpone, you're the best.
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Bigb23
Member
Username: Bigb23

Post Number: 3215
Registered: 11-2007
Posted on Saturday, January 10, 2009 - 3:52 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Please post these to another place with credit to Tponetom. I posted the following, in it's full length, in my mail room. It's still up there two weeks later.
Now, It's all we have in the Detroit area.

"That was the day that I knew I loved you. (We will always have Bob-Lo) There was no hesitation, no vacillation in my mind or heart that I would love you forever and ever, amen."
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Eriedearie
Member
Username: Eriedearie

Post Number: 4396
Registered: 08-2007
Posted on Saturday, January 10, 2009 - 5:03 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Ok Isle - thought I'd try my hand it....

Mike, let’s ride our bikes to Belle Isle. He said, “No, Tom and one of the boys will see me sitting on the porch and John, (his Detroit Newspaper boy) will carry the bike off of my porch, where it has been sitting for the last 60 years or so!

Tp - It's wonderful that you and Mike are still having laughs all these years later. Best of health to you both!

As always,
keep the stories coming
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Ray1936
Member
Username: Ray1936

Post Number: 3781
Registered: 01-2005
Posted on Saturday, January 10, 2009 - 5:43 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Mike woke up. He told his mother, “No, I can't sleep in, all of the boys will be at the Detroit Times station with me collecting on the routes since it's Saturday and Jaaba,(the manager's boy) will drop the papers off of my route, where my bike has been broken for the last day or so!

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