 
Tponetom
Member
Username: Tponetom
Post Number: 323
Registered: 06-2007
| | Posted on Sunday, September 07, 2008 - 7:15 pm: |    |
Paging All Ladies,
This is a story about the female gender.
The spectrum of emotions, in women, is as near perfect as can be for a human being.
Most ladies, GET IT! A few men do, but not very many.
On her Birthday Anniversary, Wedding Anniversary and other Sundry Days of importance, (to a woman, that is,) I write her a whimsical, tear-jerking, silly, remorseful, funny, sentimental, reminiscent, (or whatever mood I happen to be in) poem or story, but always, in a loving sense.
For instance, on her 16th birthday, I wrote the following doggerel:
“When I sense the grandeur of Heaven,
On a background of azure blue,
It pales and fades in comparison,
To the wonder that is, You.”
Now, as corny as that may sound, it clinched my future! (Women get it!)
59 and counting. Sept. 1, 1949 (Our anniversary)
St. Joseph’s Church.
ANGELS, 101
(This all takes place in the, not so far, future.)
St. Peter was perplexed! He scratched his head and pondered for a few moments. He knew he did NOT press the only switch that would open the Pearly Gates. Was it possible that the ‘devil’ was playing a ‘mind game’ with him? Did the Gate really open all by itself?
Suddenly, a calm overcame his distraught emotions. An ethereal figure was slowly gliding toward him. He knew something, beyond heavenly, was about to happen. St. Peter could sense that the outward beauty of this apparition, paled by comparison to her inner soul.
The Red Phone on his desk was covered with cobwebs. The last time he used it was when there was some ‘to do’ in the Garden of Eden. Fumbling, he managed to punch the numbers, Nine-One-One.
God answered. Before Pete could utter a word, God said, “Yes, I know. She is here. Bring her to me, forthwith..”
The militant order from God, stimulated Pete and snapped him back to his senses.
“Follow me,” he commanded the lady, and then quickly added a “please” to his request. He thought, to himself, “Well, you can’t be too careful. You never know who you are messing with!”
When they entered His quarters, God arose from his throne. Now, Pete was really in a quandary! The last time God stood up for anyone was about two thousand years ago when some Itinerant preacher named Jesus took up permanent residence in Heaven.
Understanding Pete’s frustration, God quickly allayed his fears by explaining what was happening.
God then told the story to Pete. It began in the year 1929, the year the stock market crashed. The entire life of the lady standing before Him, was made known to Him, instantly, at her birth. He also knew the repercussions that would follow, when she made her Heavenly debut. He had extreme ambivalent feelings. Some halos may fall!
God told Pete to tell Gabriel to blow reveille. He wanted everyone, awake and alert. Attendance at the Assembly Hall Cloud was mandatory for all. Archangels, Angels, Apprentice Angels and Probationary Parolees from Purgatory.
He knew he would have to scrap the current policies and qualifications for membership in the Corp of Angels. There would be no ‘grandfather’ or ‘grandmother’ clause exclusions. Everyone had to either shape up,,,,or ship down!
He said the reason for ‘change’ had just arrived. She was the new and greatly improved version of the Angelic Paradigm. (AP)
He proclaimed a 90 day Sabbatical for one and all. No exceptions. That precious time would be spent in studious solitude, beginning with a review of the text book, “The Good Angel, 101.”
That would be followed by a review of the “Old” and the “New” books. .
Then, the real chore would be an excruciating scrutiny of the human life of the AP, for therein lie all the heavenly qualities that they would have to practice in order to remain in Heaven.
There was a Tornado-like scramble for survival. Halos and harps went flying, hither and yon.
God looked at his new Angelic Paradigm, and said, “Thank You for your gift.”
She looked at him and said, “Are You not going to join them? You have been known to screw up now and then, also.”
Being Omniscience and Omnipotent, God knew it was coming.!
With a sigh of resignation, He said, “Well, I suppose I will have to reassess my original proclamation about your husband. Maybe I can let him in through the back door,,,in the dead of night,,,when everyone is sleeping.”
(My Note: Personally, I am glad that she has long coattails!) |
Lodgedodger
Member
Username: Lodgedodger
Post Number: 512
Registered: 05-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, September 07, 2008 - 8:07 pm: | |
*hug* for Tponetom |
Eriedearie
Member
Username: Eriedearie
Post Number: 3008
Registered: 08-2007
| | Posted on Sunday, September 07, 2008 - 8:33 pm: | |
Awww - group hug buddy!
And Happy 59th Anniversary to a special pair! |
Gazhekwe
Member
Username: Gazhekwe
Post Number: 2556
Registered: 08-2007
| | Posted on Sunday, September 07, 2008 - 9:05 pm: | |
Love it! |
Kathinozarks
Member
Username: Kathinozarks
Post Number: 1490
Registered: 11-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, September 07, 2008 - 9:46 pm: | |
Yay Tponetom! *sigh* |
Ravine
Member
Username: Ravine
Post Number: 2702
Registered: 01-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, September 07, 2008 - 10:16 pm: | |
Well, I guess Tom was correct in his assertion that the ladies would "get it," because I must admit, I feel like that one went over my head.
But that's O.K.; my esteem for the man is still boundless.
Cripes! I've been married longer than almost anybody I know, and Mr. & Mrs. Tpone have me beat by several DECADES. |
Gazhekwe
Member
Username: Gazhekwe
Post Number: 2557
Registered: 08-2007
| | Posted on Sunday, September 07, 2008 - 10:31 pm: | |
Our anniversary was yesterday, #39. We spent most of the day waiting for a crew to remove a tree that the vestiges of Gustav threw into our roof early Friday. I thought that was a pretty good story, but I like Tom's better. |
Tponetom
Member
Username: Tponetom
Post Number: 324
Registered: 06-2007
| | Posted on Monday, September 08, 2008 - 10:08 pm: | |
Ravine,
The Purloin Letter?
I should have prefaced that story with, “In the olden days,” or “When I was a young swain.”
If a young man plucked a Dandelion from a lawn and then handed it to his lady, she would gush a thousand geysers. How sweet, how wonderful, how thoughtful, she would say, and she would cozy up to him. She GOT it!
If the lady handed her young man the Dandelion, he might tuck it in behind his ear or start chewing on the stem. He did not GET it.
That is how it was, way back then.
Gazhekwe,
The next 20 might seem like 20 minutes! |
Ray1936
Member
Username: Ray1936
Post Number: 3625
Registered: 01-2005
| | Posted on Monday, September 08, 2008 - 10:27 pm: | |
Swain. I just used that word on Scrabble on a triple word score. |
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