 
Tponetom
Member
Username: Tponetom
Post Number: 312
Registered: 06-2007
| | Posted on Thursday, July 17, 2008 - 6:31 pm: |    |
True Historical Stories
That I Told To My Children. (Circa 1960.)
Disclaimer: Fudging the facts of a story is perfectly acceptable because it makes the story ‘sweeter’ and easier to digest.
PART I
Cadillac Tony
(Antoine (Laumet) de La Mothe de Cadillac)
The true story of how Antoine Laumet acquired the surname, Cadillac, follows.
In preparation for his epic journey up the Detroit River, he employed a canoe builder to build a custom canoe. The builders workshop was, “The Cadillac Custom Canoe & Carriage Conveyance Company. (CCCCCC)
Antoine’s specifications for the canoe included the installation of 2 retractable axles, with wheels on either end. One for the front and the other for the rear. This would greatly reduce the job of portaging, of which there would be many applications.
Antoine was extremely delighted with the end product, and he told all of his friends. “Hey! I got me a boat that floats and it also rolls on the ground!”
Instantly, he became known as Cadillac Tony, by all of his cronies
When Tony landed in Detroit, he found many animal tracks and trails used by the Native Americans. He was very confused as to which paths to follow. He just, sort of, walked around in circles. Desperate for advice, he sent an EM-mail to his pal, Louis XIV. Do not confuse EM-mail, (emergency mail) with our present day, e-mail. EM-mail took about 4 to 6 months for a reply.
Also do not confuse Louis the XIV with the furniture maker, Louis XVI, who lost his head because of some bad designs.
Louis XIV was a great student and devotee of the Roman Empire. He especially loved the slogan, “All Roads Lead to Rome.” So he passed that cryptic advice on to Tony, via EM-mail.
Tony did not have a “Rome” or any other “MECCA” for his epicenter but he did have a better idea. He would build a trading post for all the explorers and trappers and tourists who would be trafficking along the Detroit River.
He envisioned a first class emporium and it would be his crowning JEWEL of accomplishments.
At first, Tony was going to name his Trading Post, “Antoine de La Mothe de Laumet’s Super Trading Post and Outfitting Company and Kiosks Will Be Available, Later.”
Then he thought that might sound to pretentious, so he decided to call it:
“THE JEWEL HUDSON CO.”
Tony was a great admirer of Henry Hudson. Hudson discovered the Hudson River and Hudson’s Bay and later, his name would grace the Hudson Motorcar, as well as the “Oh Henry!” candy bar.
Tony’s new edifice would become Mecca for millions of shoppers of the future.
Then Tony got another brainstorm. He hitched his two Belgian work horses to his wheeled canoe, and began to scribe (with the wheels) the pathways that would lead to the Jewel Hudson trading post.
He started rolling east on Jefferson until he saw a beautiful Maiden near Alter Road. She began running north, on Alter, and Tony followed her, until they got to Mack. There was a large group of people who embraced the maiden and gave Tony some dirty looks. Tony decided, very quickly, that discretion was definitely the better part of valor, by taking a quick ‘right’ on Mack.
On that wild ride down Mack, the Belgian horses were throwing, with their size 42 shoes, mud, mixed with a certain element that they were emitting along the way, on Tony. I guess the horses were scared, ‘elementless’, like Tony was, when they seen that mob.
When he got to 8 Mile Road, a.k.a. Vernier, he hung a ‘left’. When he got to Gratiot, he made another left and made it ‘straight’ home. He had left a well-rutted path in his first effort to “map’ the boundaries of Detroit. He bathed in the Detroit River that night, thereby becoming the first recorded pollutant of that wondrous waterway.
In the following days , he mapped Woodward and Grand River via the same method and then, Michigan and W. Jefferson.
During the weeks that followed, rain washed out some of the ruts, but that was of little consequence. Any traveler with a ‘nose’ would be able to follow the trail.
Talk about Greenhouse gases, those Belgian work horses are extremely powerful. Very, Verry powerful! Phew!!
For most of that summer, Tony sashayed, up and down, back and forth, diagonally, until he scribed, what he thought was a wagon wheel of sorts.
All those roads would lead to the Jewel Hudson trading post.
P. S. With their optional ‘wheel axles” along with standard ‘air conditioning’ (the air) and ‘running water,’ (the river) the CCCCCC began offering other options like an enclosed ‘steering wheel cabin,’ deer hide seats,’ (later changed to leather), a built-in compass, and any number of other accessories.
Eventually, this deluxe canoe was used on land more often than on sea, using horse-power of course.
Recognizing the potential duality of their product, Tony became the biggest stockholder in the CCCCCC. He soon became the CEO of the company and as such , had to sign hundreds of documents with his quill pen. Tired of signing his full given name, he began using the name that everyone had been calling him for years. Cadillac Tony! And so, he signed them, Cadillac, Tony. What a difference a comma makes.
Digression: I used to write, but mostly, verbally relate, these historical ‘true’ stories to my children to help them with their History lessons in elementary school. I would, occasionally, get a ‘letter’ from their teacher.
Part II. in a few days. |
Eriedearie
Member
Username: Eriedearie
Post Number: 2345
Registered: 08-2007
| | Posted on Thursday, July 17, 2008 - 7:06 pm: | |
Tp! You've outdone yourself with this one! I've printed it and it shall be the next bedtime story for my grandson. I LOVE it!
I patiently await the 2nd installment.
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Billybbrew
Member
Username: Billybbrew
Post Number: 318
Registered: 07-2005
| | Posted on Friday, July 18, 2008 - 12:49 pm: | |
This was great. I can't wait to "hear" the next one!••• |
Bragaboutme
Member
Username: Bragaboutme
Post Number: 364
Registered: 02-2008
| | Posted on Saturday, July 19, 2008 - 12:02 pm: | |
'EM-mail' classic. I wonder, if it took 4-6 months to respond. How would that work if the receiver passed away during that time frame, due to war or illness? I bet there were many small battles started because of miss communication. |
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