 
Lodgedodger
Member
Username: Lodgedodger
Post Number: 331
Registered: 05-2008
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 12, 2008 - 7:19 am: |    |
I guess I need to get out of the convent more often. ;-) |
Eriedearie
Member
Username: Eriedearie
Post Number: 2713
Registered: 08-2007
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 12, 2008 - 12:42 pm: | |
A ha! We have verification on the stories ladies!  |
Izzyindetroit
Member
Username: Izzyindetroit
Post Number: 34
Registered: 07-2008
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 12, 2008 - 1:56 pm: | |
Lodgedodger: "One question, why are big feet 'chick magnets'?"
Eriedearie: "Legend has it...the size of their feet are supposed to have something to do with the size of their manhood. :-) - or so I've heard."
--- ARGH!••• Extenze is going to make my feet bigger!?•••••• |
Richard_bak
Member
Username: Richard_bak
Post Number: 341
Registered: 04-2008
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 12, 2008 - 2:01 pm: | |
FWIW---size 11. Don't know if I buy into the theory, though. The guy with the size-8 sneakers in the locker room can turn out to be "Tripod" in the showers. Nature is funny that way. |
Lpg
Member
Username: Lpg
Post Number: 52
Registered: 02-2008
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 12, 2008 - 4:32 pm: | |
Richard_bak:
Your last comment had me wiping coffee off the monitor............. |
Eriedearie
Member
Username: Eriedearie
Post Number: 2718
Registered: 08-2007
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 12, 2008 - 4:49 pm: | |
Richard_bak - you got two of us! I need to remember to never take a sip of anything while reading these threads.
Lpg - mine was iced tea!
Tripod! Too funny! |
Lodgedodger
Member
Username: Lodgedodger
Post Number: 333
Registered: 05-2008
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 12, 2008 - 10:18 pm: | |
Richard_bak--I just barked like a seal...TOO funny! |
Django
Member
Username: Django
Post Number: 1641
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 13, 2008 - 3:31 am: | |
Oh great Richard, You got to go and mess up the myth. SHHHEEEESSSSSHHHHHH! |
Gannon
Member
Username: Gannon
Post Number: 13744
Registered: 12-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 13, 2008 - 10:25 am: | |
Actually, he didn't.
He merely postulated a spoiler, he didn't prove it.
Medical science says there is no direct correlation between erect and non-erect sizing, and unless he's showering with fellows who are excited to be there with him...he's got no basis of challenge.
After jogging a marathon, usually my most useful trait's an INNY, using belly-button descriptor language...so if Richard were peeking in the shower, he'd think the 'myth' wrong there for sure...maybe even think me a eunuch, or Lorena Bobbit's lesser-known second ex-husband!
I know that's TMI, but I don't think I've given my friends and fans over at the parasite enough material lately. (sorry guys, I've been busy!) |
Lodgedodger
Member
Username: Lodgedodger
Post Number: 340
Registered: 05-2008
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 13, 2008 - 10:45 am: | |
Thanks, Gannon. I can't get that mental image out of my head. Thanks a lot. ;-) |
Maof2
Member
Username: Maof2
Post Number: 306
Registered: 06-2008
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 13, 2008 - 11:01 am: | |
Richard - That's so fuckin' funny...tripod!! |
Gannon
Member
Username: Gannon
Post Number: 13747
Registered: 12-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 13, 2008 - 11:15 am: | |
Always glad to be of help...heh.
It is marvelous how the body ignores extremities when the core is challenged...kinda like how frostbite hits.
I've always laughed at how my body responds when it realizes I'm trying to kill it...that is Marathon Training 101. Ain't nothing quite like 'the wall' you hit when the body goes into keytosis after about 15 miles of constant abuse!
Cheers |
Sean_of_detroit
Member
Username: Sean_of_detroit
Post Number: 1461
Registered: 03-2008
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 13, 2008 - 6:31 pm: | |
Not sure if this is just a myth, but I seem to remember that an "inny" is a possible sign of dehydration... I'm not really sure though... and I'm not doing any searches. It will probably end up linking to porn, and then a virus, and then a bizarre explanation to Kally why I was looking at "inny porn" in the first place...
So, yeah. I don't know that for sure. LOL! |
Django
Member
Username: Django
Post Number: 1646
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 13, 2008 - 7:38 pm: | |
LOL Sean. |
Tkierpiec
Member
Username: Tkierpiec
Post Number: 108
Registered: 03-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 13, 2008 - 8:59 pm: | |
Gannon's post-marathon "inny" reminds me of something that happened to a dumb ex boyfriend of mine a few years ago. He was out jet skiing in a wet suit and ran out of gas. He spent a long time out in the middle of the lake before somebody came along and rescued him. He was on the verge of exposure, apparently. When he got home & took his wetsuit off, those "things" that normally dangle freely were GONE. (Okay, I don't know what kind of terminology is appropriate here .... And they didn't come out of hiding for a good long while. It was quite bizarre to see. |
Django
Member
Username: Django
Post Number: 1648
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 13, 2008 - 9:38 pm: | |
I keep thinking of "shrinkage" in the Seinfeld episode with George Costanza.
Ive come across "innies" on the female breast during my travels. So its not really just a male thing.
Someone told me once that its the magic of the wand, not the size that matters. He was speaking of man of course, not a nipple.
Oh yeah, What did a paralyzed Willem Dafoe say in the movie Born on the Fourth of July,,, "if you dont have it in the hips, youd better have it in the lips" While slinging his tounge around the air outside the whorehouse.
(Message edited by django on August 13, 2008) |
Lodgedodger
Member
Username: Lodgedodger
Post Number: 349
Registered: 05-2008
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 13, 2008 - 9:56 pm: | |
One time, while standing in line at the market, this guy in the next line appeared to be really well-endowed. I found myself playing, "Don't look at IT", but I kept looking anyway.
I'm very happily married, but oh my GOD, it was so THERE. I wonder if he was used to that sort of attention? I just couldn't stop looking.
Gannon, boy are YOU going to get sh*t for your beauty/brains remark. |
Alley
Member
Username: Alley
Post Number: 549
Registered: 02-2008
| | Posted on Thursday, August 14, 2008 - 5:49 pm: | |
Oh god, Lodgedodger.
When I was at Cedar Pointe in 8th grade, there was a big group of special needs teenagers having an outing there. I noticed one of the guys was wearing super short shorts, and just as I pointed it out to my friend his HUGE penis dropped clear out of his shorts leg. Oh man, that's something you don't want to see but it was halfway down his leg! His caretaker said "put it in, put it in" frantically and loud enough for people around to hear. It was, uhhhm, a pretty hysterical situation to see |
Django
Member
Username: Django
Post Number: 1656
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, August 14, 2008 - 6:03 pm: | |
ROTHLMAO |
Lnfant
Member
Username: Lnfant
Post Number: 103
Registered: 05-2008
| | Posted on Thursday, August 14, 2008 - 6:59 pm: | |
small feet/big…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =LjtJZIiks7Y |
Richard_bak
Member
Username: Richard_bak
Post Number: 397
Registered: 04-2008
| | Posted on Thursday, August 14, 2008 - 7:05 pm: | |
Good God, that was painful to watch. Don't know whether to laugh or cry. A nut sack that you can float across the Atlantic on.
This guy and Tripod would've made quite an act. |
56packman
Member
Username: 56packman
Post Number: 2410
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, August 14, 2008 - 7:28 pm: | |
8-1/2 EEEE, not big, but wide.
finding good shoes is a challenge, thank God for Zalla's in Redford. |
Alley
Member
Username: Alley
Post Number: 551
Registered: 02-2008
| | Posted on Thursday, August 14, 2008 - 7:43 pm: | |
Lnfant, check this out, same guy but even more...what's the word?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =SkIryQ6Paqg
Why wouldn't you just have those babies chopped off?? I know how guys are about their balls, but COME ON, are they that important?
(Message edited by alley on August 14, 2008) |
Lnfant
Member
Username: Lnfant
Post Number: 104
Registered: 05-2008
| | Posted on Thursday, August 14, 2008 - 9:30 pm: | |
This redefines "community service".
(Message edited by Lnfant on August 15, 2008) |
Lodgedodger
Member
Username: Lodgedodger
Post Number: 359
Registered: 05-2008
| | Posted on Thursday, August 14, 2008 - 9:38 pm: | |
OMG, maybe he's using a manatee as a cushion or something. Maybe this is a misperception.
Oh please, let it be. |
Lodgedodger
Member
Username: Lodgedodger
Post Number: 360
Registered: 05-2008
| | Posted on Thursday, August 14, 2008 - 9:44 pm: | |
YouTube is a blessing...and a curse. |
Django
Member
Username: Django
Post Number: 1658
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, August 14, 2008 - 10:24 pm: | |
At least he doesnt have to STAND in line wherever he goes.
OMG Im crackin up cryin.
I gotta admit, I would seriously think about getting those snipped off. Id keep em in a big clear 55 gallon jar, just to prove I had big balls. |
Bigb23
Member
Username: Bigb23
Post Number: 2434
Registered: 11-2007
| | Posted on Thursday, August 14, 2008 - 10:37 pm: | |
I'm still on dial-up. I'll just read the "youtube" reviews here. Damn. I just sent an e-mail to another poster here with this little story.
"Oh, by the way, after the "Tripod" story from Richard online, I remembered a
white guy on my ship while in the Navy, who was built the same way, and was not "Stoopid", but extremely religious. I don't think he ever used his weapon until he scared the living daylights out of his new bride on their wedding night." |
Lnfant
Member
Username: Lnfant
Post Number: 106
Registered: 05-2008
| | Posted on Friday, August 15, 2008 - 4:42 pm: | |
The Fox News reports that Bigfoot has 15-inch feet. He's notso white, but it's curious, no? Anybody with some time to figure what size shoe that would be? |
Flanders_field
Member
Username: Flanders_field
Post Number: 872
Registered: 01-2008
| | Posted on Friday, August 15, 2008 - 6:20 pm: | |
quote:The Fox News reports that Bigfoot has 15-inch feet. He's notso white, but it's curious, no? Anybody with some time to figure what size shoe that would be?
Hard to say w/o knowing whether or not Bigfoot trims his toenails. |
Patrick
Member
Username: Patrick
Post Number: 5490
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Friday, August 15, 2008 - 8:38 pm: | |
ok, how bout a 6'9" wingspan? |
Alley
Member
Username: Alley
Post Number: 558
Registered: 02-2008
| | Posted on Friday, August 15, 2008 - 9:28 pm: | |
According to Zappo's, a 12.5 inch foot = size 16. The scale doesn't go any higher.
http://www.zappos.com/measure.zhtml
Let's just assume Bigfoot is packin'
8==========D
(Message edited by alley on August 15, 2008)
(Message edited by alley on August 15, 2008)
(Message edited by alley on August 15, 2008) |
Eriedearie
Member
Username: Eriedearie
Post Number: 2754
Registered: 08-2007
| | Posted on Friday, August 15, 2008 - 11:07 pm: | |
"Let's just assume Bigfoot is packin'"
|
Alley
Member
Username: Alley
Post Number: 562
Registered: 02-2008
| | Posted on Friday, August 15, 2008 - 11:33 pm: | |
i second that emotion! |
Gannon
Member
Username: Gannon
Post Number: 13780
Registered: 12-2003
| | Posted on Saturday, August 16, 2008 - 8:59 am: | |
But we don't know he's got the blood pressure to use the thang...or enough citrus in his diet. |
Flanders_field
Member
Username: Flanders_field
Post Number: 878
Registered: 01-2008
| | Posted on Saturday, August 16, 2008 - 11:40 am: | |
He must have, or there would not be the pitter-patter of little bigfeet through the woods.
Mating must be like two big moldy & damp rolled-up shag rugs being slammed together.
(Message edited by Flanders_field on August 16, 2008) |
Lnfant
Member
Username: Lnfant
Post Number: 111
Registered: 05-2008
| | Posted on Saturday, August 16, 2008 - 12:27 pm: | |
Ever compare humans to a gorilla or chimpanzee? I don't want to dash the high hopes of our readers, but therein may lie a clue.
Our primate cousins have very large feet and their other features *significantly* smaller in comparison to the human porportion.
(Message edited by Lnfant on August 16, 2008) |
Sean_of_detroit
Member
Username: Sean_of_detroit
Post Number: 1500
Registered: 03-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, August 17, 2008 - 2:48 am: | |
You know, that is an interesting point Lnfant.
In fact, compared to most land mammals in general... well, yeah. More possible evidence we did not evolve from strictly land mammals/apes. Now if you compare ratio to water mammals, it's a whole different story. |
Sean_of_detroit
Member
Username: Sean_of_detroit
Post Number: 1503
Registered: 03-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, August 17, 2008 - 4:33 am: | |
Hey, can we back the bus up for a second?
Why is this white guys only?
No offence is meant here, but...
...the reason of "it's a given", is silly. The question wasn't race specific, was it? LOL... there are more than just one white man and one black man being... um... compared. Just saying... not every black man may be the same, though I honestly don't know. At least, I don't think I know. No, I'm pretty sure I don't. |
Django
Member
Username: Django
Post Number: 1673
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Sunday, August 17, 2008 - 12:57 pm: | |
Sean, there was a rash of ridiculous threads a few months ago, this was just my contribution. Had no idea it would last more than a day or two. |
Lodgedodger
Member
Username: Lodgedodger
Post Number: 375
Registered: 05-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, August 17, 2008 - 3:01 pm: | |
I think the thread is silly, too. However, given the mess we've been dealing with, we're allowed to be a bit silly.
Thanks for starting the thread, Django. May I adopt you? |
Richard_bak
Member
Username: Richard_bak
Post Number: 439
Registered: 04-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, August 17, 2008 - 3:04 pm: | |
Silly is good. Sillier is gooder. |
Django
Member
Username: Django
Post Number: 1674
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Sunday, August 17, 2008 - 3:58 pm: | |
Get the paperwork started dodger, and show me where to sign. |
Eriedearie
Member
Username: Eriedearie
Post Number: 2776
Registered: 08-2007
| | Posted on Sunday, August 17, 2008 - 9:51 pm: | |
I agree Richard! I think sillier is gooder too! Sometimes ya just gotta be silly and make people laugh. Can't always be serious - makes life pretty darn dull.
That's why I like it here. I can always find someone's funny comment that might make me guffaw! Good for the soul.
|
Sean_of_detroit
Member
Username: Sean_of_detroit
Post Number: 1513
Registered: 03-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, August 17, 2008 - 11:11 pm: | |
Yeah.. I know... but just sayin... you know... you know... LOL!
LOL... nevermind... |
Alley
Member
Username: Alley
Post Number: 568
Registered: 02-2008
| | Posted on Monday, August 18, 2008 - 6:31 pm: | |
Long Dong Silver by Howard Zimmerle
http://www.noshame.org/scripts /zimmerle030328.htm
Dad: (sitting in chair w/ a pipe) My only son… back from college for the first time.
Son: Why do you keep saying that dad? That's really weird.
Dad: Back from college for the first time.
Mom (enters): Son, I've been doing your laundry, and I noticed that I haven't seen any of your jockey shorts. Have you stopped wearing jockey shorts?
Son: What? Jockey shorts?
Dad: Tighty Whities, son. Briefs.
Son: Uh, yeah, I wear boxers now.
Mom: I saw all of them in your basket today… is it because you don't have enough jockey shorts? Because you have a whole drawer full here at home.
Son: No, I just wear boxers now… jeez mom, do we have to talk about this?
Mom: It's just that your father wears briefs because he likes the support. Don't you like the extra support?
Dad: Yeah son. Support.
Son: I just, yeah, can we talk about something else?
Mom: Well your father likes the fact that jockey shorts hug his package… I couldn't imagine what it feels like to have your testicles just basically hanging free down there.
Son: Mom, I really don't want to talk about this with my parents. It's embarrassing.
Mom: Did you change to boxer shorts because you're gay?
Son: WHAT??
Mom: I knew it was because you're gay. And I always wanted grandchildren. Maybe you and your boyfriend can adopt someday.
Son: I'm not gay, Mom! Is this just because I wear boxers?
Mom: Well you haven't brought a girl home since your sophomore homecoming dance, and even she wasn't that pretty. Plus, I don't know, you've just always seemed gay to me. Ed, back me up on this.
Dad: Face it son, you're a total flamer.
Son: What??? Guys, I'm NOT GAY!•• I actually have a date tonight. With a girl. She should be coming over in a couple minutes.
Dad: Are you going to lay the pipe in her son?
Son: Oh my God, Dad, I can't believe you just said that.
Dad: Do you know the test, son?
Son: (ashamed) What test, Dad?
Dad: You put your hands like this (has thumbtips together, thumbs and pinkies extended as far as possible). Then you put them next to her ass… if your hands extended like this are wider than her ass, she's girlfriend material. That's how I knew your mother was a keeper.
Son: Uh, thanks for the advice, I guess. But seriously, I have really big hands, and well (does hand thing) this would make damn near every girl out there girlfriend material. I mean, I could date, like, Oprah or something.
Mom: Wow son, you do have really big hands. You know what they say about guys with really big hands, right? I wonder… does that mean that you're… equipped?
Son: MOM!••
Mom: It's just that… your father is really well hung, and I was curious if it ran in the family.
Son: Oh my God.
Dad: Maybe that's why he switched to boxers, honey.
Mom: Seriously though, your dad has a really huge penis. I've slept with a lot of guys, believe me, but your father was at least a couple inches bigger than all of them.
Son: Mom, I don't want to hear this!••
Dad: Show him the tape.
Mom: (puts "videotape" in "vcr")
Son: The… tape? Oh no.
Mom: Back in the 1970's your father was a porno movie star under the name Long Dong Silver.
Son: Oh dear God. Don't tell me you're making me watch a porno that stars my father.
Dad: There are millions of them out there. See son, that's how straight people like me and your mother have sex. On screen you're seeing a woman named Marilyn Chambers. She was quite the big star back in the day.
Son: I'm not watching this!!
(doorbell rings)
Son: Oh God, here's my date. (runs and lets her in)
Girl: Hi! Are you ready?
Son: Yeah, let's go… no need to go inside.
Girl: But I want to meet your parents. (walks in to see parents still watching the porno) Are you guys… watching pornography?
Dad: Sure am. Sit down, grab a soda and come watch with us.
Son: Dad, no!
Girl: Hey, is that your dad on screen? He has a really big penis!! Is that real?
Dad: Sure is, Queer Son's Girlfriend.
Son: I'm not queer!
Girl: And I'm not his girlfriend!
Mom: You know, if you're curious, you can come in the bedroom with us, and you can see that penis up close.
Son: WHAT??
Girl: I'd love to!!
Son: You're leaving me to go have sex with my DAD??
Girl: Well he's hung like a horse! And besides, you're gay anyway, right?
Mom: And I'll be there, so it's ok!
(Girl, Dad, and Mom start to walk offstage)
Son: Has everyone gone crazy? What the hell?? (puts head in hands in frustration)
Girl (as everyone walks out, to Dad): Nice briefs!
Dad: They're jockey shorts. Gives me the support I need. |
Django
Member
Username: Django
Post Number: 1683
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Monday, August 18, 2008 - 7:21 pm: | |
ROTF. Hilarious |
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