  Lowell Board Administrator Username: Lowell Post Number: 3348 Registered: 10-2003 |
So I visited Bert's Marketplace last night, showing up around 1AM. I came mainly to see a group whose work I have long admired, Scan7, and satisfy a curiosity about this renowned techno venue. As you enter there is a good sized fore room where a small stage was romping and my $15 paid out. This opened to a huge [several thousand square foot open space] with high ceiling and a stage at the far end fronted by by a strobe/laser/flashing light dance space and defined by two elevated [and for lack of a better description] go-go dancer bird cages. At the entrance end stretched a long bare-boned bar. How this place was allowed to be open befuddles me a bit as the safety and health violations were glaring. No bathrooms were remedied by two porta johns and pity the women who had to use them. Since the crowd was light it wasn't an issue. The space could easily accomodate a couple of thousand. Several exit signs gave the illusion of plenty of exit ability but all they did was funnel into the front room with its one door. The drunker of the patrons took to climbing into the bird cages and dancing. The dancers would precariously descend from the ten foot heights on a wobbly step ladder. Somehow no bones were broken and every one had fun. Scan7 was a little disappointing, breaking their set into pieces as if on an album and never seemed to get the crowd going. Then they got upstaged by a girl on girl fellatio scene in one of the bird cages [amazing the power of alcohol on inhibitions]. I was also disappointed whey they played a recorded version of their famous vocal anthem "underground nation" rather the voicing it direcly into the PA. For all I knew they could have been playing a total recording. So even with the rave / dance scene now moved out of the ruins and under quasi-legal club settings, the dangers still exist. And instead of lovey-lovey kids on E, the crowd was more characteristically drunk and slightly surly. Big alcohol always wins in the end, so it seems. Anybody else ever been to Bert's? Did I perhaps end up on an atypical night? Scan7 via crappy cell phone camera  | ||
Spaceman_spiff Member Username: Spaceman_spiff Post Number: 35 Registered: 02-2006 |
Nope, sounds like Bert's to me. I've attended a couple electronic music events at Bert's, I wasn't at the Scan 7 set though. The crowd there is usually younger than at some of the cities smaller venues, and seems to be a little more drug-addled than drunk to me. However, this might be a misconception of mine, as I usually end up at Bert's pretty late. It's not uncommon for the bathroom/bar situation to be sub-par. The sound quality can be poor, and even with 500 people in it the place feels empty. The people I meet there are usually not surly, but there can be a few thuggish types in the mix. Bert's draws a different crowd, they seem less concerned about the music than the party. Given all of this, not my scene, but I can always see a bunch of people having a blast there. -Spiff | ||
Justbeamensch Member Username: Justbeamensch Post Number: 50 Registered: 07-2006 |
girl on girl fellatio? | ||
Gannon Member Username: Gannon Post Number: 7183 Registered: 12-2003 |
THAT WAS YOU! That new haircut really threw me...but I wasn't ready to scream your name from thirty feet away in a crowd outside the other door...especially after I thought fourteen times against it. Eastsidedog, his lovely bride, and I were in the jazz room until Bert's right-hand man got us in the back for a walk-through...Eastside had a few friends there but it wasn't worth $15 each just to say hello. It helps having connections. I wouldn't be surprised if they faked the whole night, is it their schtick to have those face masks on all the time?! You surely cannot see lip synch problems through them! Shame I missed that cage scene, it must've JUST happened when we walked out...that kitten girl and her friend WERE getting quite friendly. I'd say more, but then would prove what a dirty old man I might grow to be. There is a whole bunch of stuff happening there...they ARE under construction, and I'm not sure what sort of operating license they are using for that back room. Let me know when you can make it through again, Lowell, and I'll get you into what will be their destination Motown room...it is going to be spectacular. James Carter blessed us with another impromptu walk-on sax-virtuoso performance at the end of the night...I cannot figure how he hits those notes two octaves higher than the instrument is supposed to play! | ||
Sailor_rick Member Username: Sailor_rick Post Number: 149 Registered: 02-2004 |
A "Dirty" show was held at Bert's a few months ago, which is usually held at the Tangent Gallery. It was 7/8's full, other than the lines for the heads, it went pretty smooth. A decision is pending if the traditional Valentine's Day "Dirty" show will be held there or the Tangent. | ||
Itsjeff Member Username: Itsjeff Post Number: 7154 Registered: 10-2003 |
About 3 years ago the FSC met at Bert's to see their Christmas review hosted by Martha Reeves. She and I happened to pull into adjoining parking spaces at the same time. As we walked to the door together, she put her arm in mine and said, "Come on, baby. You can be my excuse for being late." | ||
Lowell Board Administrator Username: Lowell Post Number: 3349 Registered: 10-2003 |
Drats! I missed James Carter for the Scan7 disappointment! | ||
Ray1936 Member Username: Ray1936 Post Number: 945 Registered: 01-2005 |
I haven't been up at 1 a.m. since about 1984. | ||
Rjlj Member Username: Rjlj Post Number: 203 Registered: 11-2003 |
Sounds like you missed the good fun by about 15 years, that was when the really good parties were. | ||
Lowell Board Administrator Username: Lowell Post Number: 3357 Registered: 10-2003 |
Many producers hold back their quality acts until after 2 AM when the clubbers depart and the aficionados arrive. Ray1936 needs to learn how to take a "disco nap"  . | ||
Supersport Member Username: Supersport Post Number: 10915 Registered: 10-2003 |
At least you got your $15 worth! | ||
Eastside Member Username: Eastside Post Number: 982 Registered: 01-2005 |
Berts has the best Red Beans in the city right now. | ||
Traxus Member Username: Traxus Post Number: 24 Registered: 02-2006 |
Between the drunken bird cage climbing and the kandy kids hopped up on whatever, I'm surprised no one has managed to die in that venue. It would be a nice place if they could pack it. I've seen photos of the frankie bones show they threw awhile back which drew ~2000 (or so they say) and the place still looked 'roomy'.  | ||
Jimg Member Username: Jimg Post Number: 736 Registered: 10-2003 |
There will be a tribute to LOTTIE THE BODY at Bert's on Sunday, December 3 from 6 - 10 pm, featuring Donald Walden, Shahida Nurullah, Flash Beaver and others. I'll post more detail later today. | ||
Gannon Member Username: Gannon Post Number: 7227 Registered: 12-2003 |
Traxus...just because there're no bodies...heh. After we came home that night, mebbe a half hour later we heard a volley of ten shots...probably .40 cal. That's a full magazine, I think, if you're too chicken to leave one in the chamber. It was about a block or two away, but towards the Cut, not the Market. I just thought Sport was out walking the dogs. | ||
Supersport Member Username: Supersport Post Number: 10921 Registered: 10-2003 |
13+1 had it been me. ALWAYS keepin' one in the chamber. | ||
Gannon Member Username: Gannon Post Number: 7237 Registered: 12-2003 |
Is the stock clip ten, or was that the law when semi-automatics were limited with that law that expired?! Good to keep one in the chamber, that way you always get to win when you use that Clint Eastwood 'Dirty Harry' quote, right?! the one that goes something like this: "I kinda lost count myself. Ya gotta ask yourself, do you feel lucky, punk? Huh?!" | ||
Markemarx Member Username: Markemarx Post Number: 1 Registered: 11-2006 |
What kind of red beans is eastside talking about?? My guess is they are nowhere near being organic, nor like most beans you can find on Russell St. on the weekend morning & afternoons! | ||
Supersport Member Username: Supersport Post Number: 10936 Registered: 10-2003 |
Gannon, If you are unsure if you have any rounds left in your clip, why wouldn't you eject your clip and put in your fully loaded backup clip? By the way, you ever get yours back from the po-po up in the burbs? | ||
Gannon Member Username: Gannon Post Number: 7264 Registered: 12-2003 |
Sometimes you just gotta walk light. If you think you need more than eighteen...the 9mm with the +2...then you might have other problems. No, I haven't gotten it back yet. Now, back to the thread topic. After a Mexican Village dinner, and as much abuse as I could stand from Heather and Willis at Vivio's...I wandered through Bert's to see what may be up this Wednesday night. Thursday and Friday night open mics are consistently great, but mid-week you never know. Was blown away by a few sets from some of Detroit's finest. Piano player from the Spinners sat in for a few...drummer from P-Funk...it was truly a magical night. The Spirit of Hastings Street beats with a Motown rhythm...I cannot explain this groove any better. Bert's is a magical place sometimes. It is always worth at least a stop-through. Cheers! | ||
Gannon Member Username: Gannon Post Number: 7265 Registered: 12-2003 |
What did momma always say about life and that box of chocolates?! |
