  Doma Member Username: Doma Post Number: 24 Registered: 05-2008 |
I wanted to share with all of you some of the experiences and lessons I have learned throughout my 27 years in the Detroit Area. This will likely be a long post, but it might be worth reading.... I am 27 years old this week. My parents are lifelong residents of the area. I graduated from high school in the year 2000. I grew up from child to adolescent to man in the 90's. My family was into Real Estate and living in Macomb County. In those day I was brought up in a world where 250-300k homes literally couldn't be built fast enough and that somehow there was an endless amount of high paying, low skill jobs available as soon as a person was to graduate at 18. That was, up until I actually needed to work...... Peak employment was reached in the month of June 2000, the same month I graduated. Around this time, the rate was as low as 3.7%. If you didn't have a job at these times, it was probably your fault. At that time, a teenager could easily get a summer gig paying 11-14$ or more per hour with very little effort. So what? Well... What I realized is that in my adult life I have never experienced a truly "healthy" economy. An economy where job growth has existed (at almost any) particular period. I didn't attend college, instead my education has been obtained by doing business in the real world. So what might one learn by taking this route? I have managed to make a SUBSTANTIAL LIVING in MEDIOCRE to BAD times. Recession has taught me how to SAVE money, how to BUILD CREDIT and how to DELAY INSTANT GRATIFICATION. Fighting through year after year for a smaller piece of the pie has forced me to be RESOURCEFUL and CLEVER. Less opportunity means more COMPETITION which makes one who competes STRONGER. Doom and gloom help filter out the WEAK, which leave more for those who can weather the storm. Seeing doom and gloom has boasted my CONSTITUTION and STAMINA. It has force me to either THINK POSITIVE and SUCCEED or LOSE. These are lessons that define peoples character, perhaps they have defined yours? To me, this recession has been like an 8+ year trip to the gym. I believe that it has taught me lessons about life and helped strengthen my mind. I've managed to do better than average over this time I have mentioned. Imagine what is possible for those of us who like myself have managed to prevail in a seemingly endless downturn? I have a simple little saying that has become somewhat of a mantra for my business and specifically for the enormous project I have been working on for the last year: "If it was easy, everybody would be doing it" Hey if making a few mil before you're 30 was like signing up for Facebook or getting a cell phone, why wouldn't we all do it? Doma (Message edited by doma on March 17, 2009) | ||
Kathinozarks Member Username: Kathinozarks Post Number: 1898 Registered: 11-2006 |
Well, bless your heart. | ||
Reddog289 Member Username: Reddog289 Post Number: 986 Registered: 08-2007 |
If I'd read that 13yrs ago when I was that age I might be better off. | ||
Shadesofbleu Member Username: Shadesofbleu Post Number: 12 Registered: 03-2009 |
Wow, thank you for that Doma. | ||
Cycledetroit Member Username: Cycledetroit Post Number: 83 Registered: 09-2008 |
Doma, I loved your post. I love positive detroit posts! My boyfriend and I moved to Detroit from Los Angeles last January. I also grew up in metro Detroit and I am 25, I remember finding summer jobs with ease and making more than enough money. I also remember thinking that if you were in your mid 20s, you should buy a house. Most people a couple years older than me were working right out of high school and buying their first house by 25. When we left LA (the land of opportunity?) , everyone asked why? Well, we are here and are way better off! It took a lot of work, and wasn't easy at first. We started in a POS flat in Hamtramck, and worked jobs that we didn't love, but they paid the bills. Now, we both have jobs that we LOVE, and we are making almost 2x what we were making in LA. We knew it wasn't going to be easy at first, but we stuck it out because we both knew we wanted to make a home in Detroit. Hopefully this time next year, we will be buying our first home in the city. Its all about being resourceful, we split costco trips with my parents, freeze meat when its on sale, eat out less , grow our own veggies in the summer, we also share one car. It will all be worth it. | ||
Danindc Member Username: Danindc Post Number: 4576 Registered: 10-2003 |
Sounds terrific at first, but it smacks of smug self-importance. quote: Now what if your family was into Crack, Booze and Prosititution and living in the Inner City? Do you think you would have beceome the same person? You were lucky. Chalk it up as a plus, and keep the infomercial banter to yourself. As a general rule, people you don't know don't like to hear how awesome your life is, especially when it comes to money. It reeks of insecurity. Be happy you're doing well, and instead of posting on here, help out someone who hasn't been lucky enough to have the opportunities you did. | ||
Locke09 Member Username: Locke09 Post Number: 122 Registered: 02-2009 |
Cycledetroit has provided some good and specific examples of practical things that people can do to survive and even thrive during tough economic times. | ||
Displaced Member Username: Displaced Post Number: 23 Registered: 01-2009 |
Danindc, can't you just take it for what its worth, and not be sinical for a moment? | ||
Big_baby_jebus Member Username: Big_baby_jebus Post Number: 112 Registered: 09-2008 |
Doma, you and me brother. You and I are on the same trip. I'm going on 26, and have the exact same outlook on this whole mess. In fact, it sound like we're are on a parallel paths. My mantra "what doesn't kill me makes me stronger" hit me up http://onlyndetroit.com/index. htm | ||
Danindc Member Username: Danindc Post Number: 4577 Registered: 10-2003 |
quote: No, I can't. I just completed 8 years of George W. Bush telling me to "work hard". I've reached my capacity for patronizing remarks. | ||
Cheddar_bob Member Username: Cheddar_bob Post Number: 1887 Registered: 10-2003 |
I think Dan's points have merit. It's one person's take on the post that just happens to be different from the rah-rah, we love your optimism, opinions of other posts. Oh and BTW, you didn't even come close to spelling cynical right. Just for future reference. | ||
Lowell Moderator Username: Lowell Post Number: 2252 Registered: 09-2003 |
Good post Doma. It is so easy to be smirkingly cynical and tear down those who are positive, in your case positive and realistic. It seems one must not only fight the tough times but learn to ignore those who would discourage your energy because they can't endure the light you shed. I came to Detroit as a college student because I could literally walk into the employment office at Ford Rouge and be working at a union scale wage - a whopping $3.50 per hour back then, triple the minimum wage I was paid doing roofing in the small Wisconsin town I was from at the time. I feel for your generation [and my son's] who no longer have that luxury. But, just like you point out, that's the way it is, so deal with it. Actually that gravy train ended in 1980. At that time I had a Teamster delivery driver job that paid $13.60 and hour with full benefits. That disappeared in the great [Michigan /rust belt] depression that lasted until 1986 and remain anemic thereafter. That same job pays less today with minimal benefits and absolutely no security and little future. Who knows what our future holds, but your advice to save, stay out of debt, get smarter all the time and work hard will serve you well. Good luck and thanks for the energy burst. | ||
Displaced Member Username: Displaced Post Number: 24 Registered: 01-2009 |
Dan, no offense ment. i just tend to ask "why" on negativity. sometimes it gets people to think about it, and realize things aren't that bad. at least you gave a good answer! and cheddar... sometimes i just suck at spelling! :P (Message edited by displaced on March 18, 2009) | ||
Danindc Member Username: Danindc Post Number: 4581 Registered: 10-2003 |
Please understand, I'm not trying to discourage Doma in the least. In fact, I wish him the best of success, and I hope he continues to prosper. He was fortunate enough, though, to be raised well by his parents, that had a sense of duty and responsibility. There are people who only have one parent at home, who struggles to scrape by and doesn't have the time or energy to teach the life lessons Doma has learned. Be grateful for what you have. You know the old parable about teaching a man to fish? It seems like you're telling people they need to go fishing, instead of showing 'em how to fish. It's easier said than done, especially if your folks gave you a boat and a fishing rod. | ||
Benfield Member Username: Benfield Post Number: 154 Registered: 06-2008 |
One of the best books I’ve read recently is Drunkards Walk by economist Leonard Mlodinow. The book’s premise is that life is in no small part guided by randomness. It fundamentally debunks the Tony Robbins/Oprah/est notions that our individual destinies are wholly in our control. Who can forget Oprah wagging her finger at a Darfur refuge for not having a positive attitude or Werner Erhard suggesting that a Holocaust survivor only had herself to blame for her struggles. As disgusting as it is absurd. Personal responsibility, critical thinking, and good choices are important but to suggest, as Duma does here, that anyone can succeed in life if they “THEY POSITIVE” and have a “CONSTITUTION” is intellectual homeopathy. Let’s break this down: quote: There’s a big wide world out there. If you’ve spent your entire 27 years in the Detroit area your “experiences and lessons” probably aren’t worth reading about but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. quote: Houses that couldn’t be built fast enough in a market with a stagnant population. That won’t end badly at all. quote: The suspense is killing me. Well, not the suspense so much as the pretense. quote: Oh sweet Jesus, it’s a school of hard knocks lecture. Those are tedious from some old codger but a snot-nosed GenY brat? Insufferable. I'd have more to say about this but Richard Hofstadter already said it for me in Anti-intellectualism in American Life. quote: …by placing TINY CLASSIFIED ADS! quote: But I thought you were making a substantial living so it doesn’t sound like the recession taught you these things. This recession certainly didn’t teach you to be frugal with the ALL CAPS? quote: This is a JV soccer game. Competition in the marketplace means winners and losers. In the long-run, that’s ok but the shrinking “pie” has long-term macro-consequences for this metropolitan region that won’t be cured by some undereducated member of the booboisie keeping things positive. quote: That’s true and metro Detroit is definitely part of the WEAK. Maybe the weakest of the WEAK. quote: So says the undereducated 27-year-old who has never left metro Detroit. quote: A nation of people who have seen their home values decline exponentially are buoyed by your gym metaphor. quote: So how exactly did you prevail during this “seemingly endless downturn”? You never really explained that. Was it drugs? Mafia connections? I mean you did say you’re from Macomb County and your “family” is in real estate. Are you and Tony Soave related? quote: See the problem is people are sweating making their first “few mil” chotch. They are trying to hang onto their jobs, manage their 401K out of this morass, pay the mortgage, protect their children’s education funds, etc. As Ricky Roma once said, you’re a f*&#ing child. And as Sheldon Levine said, I’m done with you. (Message edited by Benfield on March 18, 2009) | ||
Ravine Member Username: Ravine Post Number: 3144 Registered: 01-2006 |
Good mind-set, Doma. Keep up the good work and never, ever use a goddam credit card to buy anything for which you cannot pay as soon as you get home to your piggy bank. Dan's cynical remarks may "have merit," but his implication is that one's childhood environment greatly defines their psychological make-up and their future. That implication has "some merit," but the real world is rife with contradictory examples. Applying social, economic, racial, or (insert your own) models to real life & real people is a sloppy kind of science, yielding unreliable projections. Great for teachers and writers of textbooks; worthless in life. | ||
Bobl Member Username: Bobl Post Number: 651 Registered: 07-2008 |
Good advice, and a nice post, Doma. I wish you continued success. Now, do you have some advice for the numerous people your age who did not have the advantage of a person with your background, like a stable home and family business connections? What would you recommend to the child whose father is invisible and whose mother has chosen to smoke crack? How shall that child acquire an adequate education in a failed school district, and how shall he deal with the thugs and dope peddlers he walks past on the way to school? Some will make it, and live successful, hard working lives. Most will not. You stated that "Less opportunity means more COMPETITION which makes one who competes STRONGER." True. But less opportunity and more competition also assures that most will not succeed. Enjoy the rewards of your hard work, but do not forget that others did not have the same head start that you did. (Message edited by Bobl on March 18, 2009) | ||
Downtown_lady Member Username: Downtown_lady Post Number: 614 Registered: 08-2008 |
Benfield, I find it hard to believe that Oprah "wagg[ed] her finger at a Darfur refuge for not having a positive attitude." Can you provide a link to that? Other than that, Benfield, regarding your post, I'd like to remind Doma what Lowell said: "learn to ignore those who would discourage your energy because they can't endure the light you shed." | ||
Urbanfisherman Member Username: Urbanfisherman Post Number: 119 Registered: 07-2008 |
oh please... | ||
Benfield Member Username: Benfield Post Number: 155 Registered: 06-2008 |
It occured when she had "The Secret" douchebag on her show. http://www.salon.com/mwt/featu re/2007/03/05/the_secret/index 1.html | ||
Danindc Member Username: Danindc Post Number: 4582 Registered: 10-2003 |
quote: The actual implication was if your parents are "involved in real estate", your future "success" is a hell of a lot more certain than someone from a family who scrapes by to barely keep a roof over their head and put food on the table. If you really think that "luck" and "hard work" are the only factors determining success, I have a fraternity house in Ann Arbor to sell you. It sure is easy to score a touchdown when you get the ball 1st and Goal on the opponents 5! Why can't everyone do it? It's a piece of cake! I, for one, would much rather see and do hard work than to hear about it. | ||
Ravine Member Username: Ravine Post Number: 3146 Registered: 01-2006 |
I found the article; I didn't find a link showing any refugees or Winfrey-wagging. Kinda looks like what "occured" is that you read an article. | ||
Downtown_lady Member Username: Downtown_lady Post Number: 615 Registered: 08-2008 |
Thank you for the link Benfield, but that link doesn't say anything about Oprah "wagging her finger at a Darfur refugee for not having a positive attitude." The author of the article you linked muses: "I wondered if the students of [Oprah's academy for girls in South Africa] would read 'The Secret' and start to believe that their parents deserved to be poor, or that the people of Darfur summoned the Janjaweed with 'bad thoughts,' " which is not quite what you said. This is not to say that Oprah didn't say it on her show, but could you provide that link? Also, this is not to defend Oprah or The Secret; I just don't like people making sh*t up. Not saying you did. Could you provide a link? Thanks. | ||
Johnlodge Member Username: Johnlodge Post Number: 9650 Registered: 10-2003 |
I think Dan and Benfield are spot-on. As much as this story of a kid overcoming the trials and tribulations of growing up in the hard streets of Macomb county tickles my taint, it ignores the reality of hundreds of thousands of Detroiters who could only wish to have graduated from some Macomb county high-school from a family who was "in Real Estate". | ||
Benfield Member Username: Benfield Post Number: 156 Registered: 06-2008 |
You know what, I got my memories crossed. SNL did a spoof of Oprah's pimping the secret with the Darfur angle. Though she didn't literally do it, it's hard to argue anyone who buys into The Secret isn't inherently suggesting that people in Darfur got what they deserve. I had juxtaposed the literal and figurative in my mind. Sorry for the confusion. http://www.npr.org/templates/s tory/story.php?storyId=1007333 5 The Erhard/Holocaust story is dead nuts accurate. I even took the time to pull a quote: quote: http://www.believermag.com/iss ues/200305/?read=article_snide r Erhard's est became the Forum and then the Forum became Landmark Education. It's all the same "believe in yourself" crap. | ||
3rdworldcity Member Username: 3rdworldcity Post Number: 1361 Registered: 01-2005 |
Danindc: you stated "I just completed 8 years of George W. Bush telling me to 'work hard'." You refer to such advice as patronizing. Did you work hard for 8 years just because GWB told you to and it didn't work out? Is that why you're angry with him? Seems like "work hard" is good advice regardless of who gives it or to whom it's given. Why call the advice giver "patronizing?" One thing is for sure. Everyone will eventually end up in real estate. Six feet under it. | ||
Chitaku Member Username: Chitaku Post Number: 2143 Registered: 03-2006 |
I also grew up in Macomb County and graduated in 2000. I feel like those 250-350,000 mcmansions that popped up left and right are part of the reason we are in this mess today. It's great that you didn't go to college and you're doing great blah blah, but think about the people who are knee deep in loans because their parents couldn't pay for them to go to college. While you graduated and went to work, they sat and studied making little to no money. Now they are forced to fight over line cooking and retail jobs just to pay back the loans because that's all there is available. I used to think life was peachy and everyone should have a house as big as the ones in Macomb. Then I became educated about real life and realized many people are not as privileged as we with two parents who work and raise us in a squeaky clean suburb. The real goal in life should not be what you have, it should be the kind of person you are. | ||
Thames Member Username: Thames Post Number: 424 Registered: 02-2007 |
I'm not really sure what Doma's post is about. First, I thought it was a resume, then, as I read, I thought it seemed more like an autobiography and by the end I realized it is simply a "yeah me" post. Don't get me wrong, that's OK. It's better than a lot of the whining (I'm guilty of whining too!)that's posted. I think of my Dad when I think of someone successful. He has all those traits that Doma professes to have but he is also very unassuming and very approachable. He's now retired, but even before, when you met him you'd just think you met a nice guy; you would never have guessed that he was a "big wig". He was, and still is, a truly likable person. Everyone loved and respected him. From the guy in the $1000 suit in the high rise to the guy in blue jeans and a tee-shirt working the shop floor. He never let his success get to his head. Although he was successful, he was always very grateful and gracious to the people around him, no matter who they were. Too many successful people are full of themselves. They just can't wait to tell anyone who will listen, how wonderful they are, how much better they are, how much money they make, etc. So anyway Doma, I suspect you were looking for a response that I haven't yet posted, so here you go: Rah, rah Doma! Yeah Doma! Big pat on the back to Doma! Keep up the great work Doma! Doma! Doma! Doma! | ||
Rjk Member Username: Rjk Post Number: 1255 Registered: 11-2003 |
This reminds me of what my father went through growing up. The only difference is that he grew up during the great depression and not in MaComb County during the 90's. (Message edited by rjk on March 18, 2009) | ||
Detroitchef Member Username: Detroitchef Post Number: 152 Registered: 09-2008 |
put it up on YouTube and you got something. |
